Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,


First of all, how are you? I hope it's not too cold for you at your place. And I have to say, nice outfit! Good color combination. But Santa, you really need a diet! What happened to your tummy? I hope you weren't stealing and eating from other kids' presents. And Santa, I want to tell you that I have been bad good this year. Although I have been bad sometimes, the majority would be good. And don't leave my list out, just because of teeny weeny bit. This is my first time that I have written a letter to you. My parents, well actually my mother, told me that you could read children's minds. So, even if I didn't send you a letter, you should have know all these years what I wanted. And you didn't even send me presents once. And because of all that, you are going to get a penalty. I am going to tell you everything I want. And you must  please send me them. Please? 


How are the elves doing? And what about Rudolf Rudolph? Please say hi to him from me. I like him very much. Tell him to give me an autograf autograph when you come - you will come, right??? If you don't come, I will tell my parents to come and beat you up. I will be very sad. I really want some gifts this year Santa. I'm so bored! There's no one to play. My mom won't let me watch T.V. the whole day. And worst of all, I have to go to school! 


Anyway,there are so many things that I want. So, I might forget something but as you can read my mind, I want you to send it too. Okay? 


List :

• No school (please,please,please)
• An elf(so that if the previous one is not received, it will do the homework for me)
• Rudolph's nose
• Rudolph's autograph
• Your beard
• Your clothes
• Your sleigh
• Non-stop supply of Doritos
• Non-stop supply of MilkyBar
• Non-stop supply of pizzas
• Non-stop supply of Boudoir
• Non-stop supply of Fanta
• Non-stop supply of junk food(other than the ones mentioned above)
• Non-stop shows of my favorite shows like WWE,Star World,etc.(at suitable timings and non-repeat ones)
• Sachin's retirement before he reaches 100 centuries
• Sehwag's more double centuries
• Kallis breaking Sachin's record(or any other person)
• John Cena defeating The Rock at WM 28
• All the stupids getting fired
• John Cena becoming the rapper once more
• Me reading more than 50 Christie books
• An air gun
• A pistol
• An AK-47
• A sniper
• A mobile phone
• A pen(because this one is almost over
• A fat-loss kit(for you so that when you send it to me, I can send it back to you)
• Friends who I can play with( not geeks)

Hey, Santa, when is the last date for submitting these letters? I can remember only these now. I will send a letter as soon as I remember. So,

• Last date for submission of letters

So, Santa, how many stamps will I need for this letter? Is there even a postage service there?I've stuck one but if you need more, tell my parents.


So, I hope you find this letter and send me the items. And are going to come down our chimney? Please reply.


With best hopes,
Yours afekshanately affectionately,
The Guile Hooligan