"Wiggy"

Yeah! You know what time it is? Do you know who’s coming now?

Don’t worry those who don’t know, coz even me, the great me, I don’t know!

There’s only one person here who knows who he is,

Well, maybe two, counting whoever he is!

Here he comes; who the hell is he?

I have no idea, let’s go and see!

Seems that his name is Wiggy,

Don’t let him hear this: he looks like a piggy!

Now let’s get started, bring him to the stage,

What are you doing, reading that page?

This is being aired on national television,

And you sit there, reading, like you’re on a mission!

“Now, you must know that what you said is true,

Although, keep in mind that I can just sue!

Yes, I’m on a mission, and yes, I was reading,

But my question is this: why are you flaring?”

Why am I flaring, what do you mean?

Because your mission thing, it’s all being seen!
Ok, now let’s stop arguing and start again,

Give us some touch-up, come on, Ben!

Would you please stop reading that thing,

This show is the thing that earns me ka-ching!

I should have brought some other guy on this,

Let’s stop, there’s nothing people’ll miss!

“Wait a minute, just a minute, let me ask you this,

Why are you stopping the show before asking some biz?

If it’s because of my reading, don’t care about that,

Just continue the show; PS: Why the mat?”

What the hell do you mean? this is a show,

A show with high ratings, but this time low!

Now it’s my turn, let me ask you a question,

What’s the problem with you, some type of infection?

“What’s the matter if I read, man,

Tell me that and tell me your plan!
Don’t think for a second that I’m gonna stop,

I don’t care if this show’s a flop!”

 “Have you read The Hollow, Sparkling Cyanide,

Five Little Pigs, The Unexpected Guest?

The Big Four, The Clocks, Death on the Nile,

Oh my god! You are such a pest!”

“What the hell of a difference does it make?

Man, just stop whining and continue, for God’s sake!

I don’t see why you care about my reading, dope,

I’ve told you many times, just ignore it and don’t mope!”

“Now, ask me what you want to, man.

I know that you are not my fan!

But if you wanna ask, ask quick,

Otherwise I’m outta here, this makes me sick!”

You know what, just go away,

Because of you, I’m not going to get my pay!
And one more thing; I admit, I’m a mope,

You’re the one to blame, hey, I’m not the Pope!

“Okay then, finally, you understand me,

And I’m sure the people will also be happy!

So, goodbye and goodnight to you, folks,

Does anybody have an egg, loaded with yolk?”

“And to you mope! Goodbye,

I can’t believe there were so many lies!
You didn’t even tell me your name,

I guess you didn’t, coz you thought you had fame!

“Well, I’m here to correct you,

You know why the cheers were few?

Not because of me, they all love me,

Because of you, you even had them pay a fee!”

“Let me tell you some’n: I am famous,

Just like the Great White Sheamus!

It might be for strange reasons, like him,

Mine is my hair, you are damn dim!”

“So, for the last time, I’m saying goodbye and ‘night,

I don’t think I’ll come here again, but maybe I might!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta resume my mission thing,

You don’t wanna see the real me; inside me, it’s all bling-bling!”